I first thoroughly read the short story and from that I thought about the author's message. Using clues from the story I came to the conclusion that the author was trying to tell the reader to live life to the fullest. Next I reread the story to find specific examples and quotes to use as evidence in my body paragraphs. I sat down for about an hour and produced my first draft. It did not flow very well or have a clear thesis but the meat of the essay was there. My one on one with Mrs. Nisbett was extremely helpful. She pointed me in the right direction and told me to focus more on the rhetorical analysis ethos and pathos. In creating my second draft I started completely over and used my first draft more of like a cheat sheet if I needed examples because I had changed my thesis and it did not really fit the essay I had written. I also added some information about the author. Next we did peer editing. It made me feel better about my own essay after reading others. I really tried to help the guy whose essay I edited and I think I gave him good advice in creating a stronger thesis. I wanted to help the girls essay because she really did not have any evidence to back up her claims but I did not read the story she wrote so I could not give her examples. I totally did not agree with how the girl edited my paper. She tore it up saying that my thesis was about and it made me really upset. I tried to take her advice into account while I was writing my final draft but it was difficult not to be bias on my own paper.
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1. How do the biblical allusions contribute to the theme of the story?
2. What tense should I be writing in and how can I change my sentences to fit it? 3. How can I organize my paragraphs better to help make sense of my ideas? The speaker seems to be emotionally detached, in a rut, and looking for a meaningful connection. I think that this video was intended for young adults and that the message is that you are not going to connect with everyone but you should not stop trying because your people are out there and you just have to keep looking. I especially think this would be good to watch being a college freshman to help encourage us to put ourselves out there. For example, in his video as he traveled it showed how mundane and similar all the towns were but it was the people that made it different and special. I found how candid he was to be humorous in the video. The parts where his shows were not perceived as well by students to be sad as well as the story about the guy who fell in the grain.
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October 2019
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